Tomorrow I go in for a cortisone shot in my hip.
Sometimes I think the chronic pain of the past few months was everything dark and frustrated in me coming out sideways but it appears after years of sports, a motorcycle accident, and only God knows what other abuse the pain in my hip will not go away. At times it has been so difficult that serving the Liturgy became a lesson in endurance, walking with a cane a necessity, and getting out of a car a gradual process of grimace and unfold.
I would like to say the pain comes from a lifetime of ascetic practice and many prostrations but alas it is not so. I am in my middle forties and some things, especially those damaged before, are reminding me again of thier wounds. I would like to have had a miraculous healing with the faith it would inspire and the simple, practical, freedom to sleep through the night but such is not the case.
As I get older I become more and more like the seniors I serve in my "day job" and my empathy for thier various aches and pains increases. Each time I stand I am reminded I am mortal and prone to decay. Each day I learn in this small way, because others suffer at levels which make this pain insignificant, that grace is sufficient for each day.
Now if I can just get myself to the doctor tomorrow...
2/7/07
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