Thoughts from a Traveling Priest...

I'm moving...

2009-06-11T08:15:00.000-05:00

to another place on blogger. Find it here

It's been very dry...

2009-06-06T09:26:00.002-05:00

in May and June and we're over 5 inches below the average rainfall. Grass is going brown and lakes and ponds are shrinking from their banks. It's the day before Pentecost and we need rain.

So it is with the world and myself as well. We both need water from heaven and the rain of the Spirit to come and touch our dryness. The winter was cold and long and spring has been stingy with her fruits. We, I, need rain to soften the ground, to give life to that which is in us, and to quench our thirst.

Let the clouds roll in, even if they are only the size of a man's hand, and let the first drops fall. Whatever falls will be taken. Whatever comes will be absorbed. Each drop will have value.

It's the day before Pentecost and we, I, need rain.

These past months...

2009-06-01T23:16:00.005-05:00

since February have been some of the hardest in my decade of being Orthodox.

The decision of the Holy Synod of Antioch to change the status of our Diocesan Bishops to auxiliaries has ignited a firestorm in our Archdiocese. Leaders are troubled. People are asking questions. Old wounds have been opened and new ones inflicted. Speculation abounds and people are still struggling to understand. Why was this necessary? What does this mean? What are the grounds for this decision? Many, including myself, hope for the best but answers, at the present, are few and far between.

There is a kind of fear among us as well. Some are afraid to speak because they imagine the consequences. News and rumors float about on competing websites. Angry words are being written and spoken. The future seems uncertain. The rationale behind this change, according to official sources, was the unity of the Archdiocese but the result has been exactly the opposite as people are divided and hurt and trying to make sense of it all. I can't imagine what the diocesan and national conventions will be like if this is not resolved.

When I was first a Baptist Pastor I was given these words of advice, "God leads, the Devil stampedes" and I feel we're being stampeded in many directions in the aftermath of this decision. Satan is creating havoc among us and God is allowing us to be challenged. Wheat and chaff are being separated and fire is in the process of burning out impurities. Yet while this happens people will be lost, people who will grow tired and disillusioned and give up and walk out the door and people who, looking at us from the outside and seeing this shameful mess, refuse to step in the door. Hard lessons are being learned.

This is wrong. This is sad. We need to be better.

So many, myself included, were hopeful that our new dioceses and self rule would be the seeds of a united American Orthodox Church, another step towards a correct canonical status and a shared Orthodox voice in this country. We hoped that disunity and chaos would someday end. We thought our leaders wanted this too but one day it was there and the next it was gone. Who can we trust? What set of events would require such a change? I feel confused, sad, and perplexed.

I love the Orthodox Faith so I could never walk away but I despair for all this has brought. Whether the Holy Synod's decision on the status of our Bishops stands or is changed there will be a great silent undercurrent of fear, hostility, and lack of trust that will cripple us regardless of the proclamations and documents that follow. The things said and done in this time will hobble us and scandalize both the faithful and those who are searching for the Faith. We need trust to work together and that trust has been terribly strained.

I'm just a Priest from a small church on the western edge of Wisconsin, what I have to say doesn't matter much. But I do pray for our Bishops, our Metropolitan, and our Patriarch and hope they see the sad results of what has happened and think deeply and spiritually about all of this. I especially pray for Bishop Mark who has endured so much before and after this and Lord knows what he may have to face in the future. All of our Bishops, agree or disagree, should be in our prayers. As we see what is happening we need to be prayerfully, respectfully, involved, seeking out the truth and acting on it as best sinful people can.

Yet in all my struggle with these things I have hope as well. I've seen men and women rise to the occasion and thoughtful people stand and be counted. That this is all worth fighting over says something about how we value it. If the weeks past are any indicator we may be in for a difficult journey but I have confidence in God. Somewhere in all of the shouting we will hear the still small voice.

And as part of this I've already expressed my opinion on this to my Dean and Bishop and they know that I believe that for practical, spiritual, and canonical reasons we need to retain our diocesan Bishops. Beyond the pastoral and canonical issues it just makes sense. I say this with no malice, no disrespect, and no anger towards anyone who may differ from me. Future events may reveal this opinion to be wise or I may have to be accountable for it. Regardless I will stand here and trust that God will care for me and the Church as needed.

That is where my hope is. I would like amicable resolution, the reattachment of sundered bonds, a Christian way to work through disagreements, and a drawing from the deep well of our Tradition for wisdom in troubled times. Our world needs the truth of Orthodoxy. But if those fail I still believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to take even these hard days and make something holy of them. Somewhere on the other side of this all is where we need to be and God will help us find our way home.

For that I wait, and pray, and hope.

I've wondered sometimes...

2009-05-30T09:04:00.004-05:00

about the ascension. What was it? How did it happen? Let me explain.

The Scriptures tell us that Jesus' body lifted off from the ground and at some height disappeared into a cloud and left his follower's sight. As an act of God by faith I can understand the "why" of it. Jesus was returning from where He came. But the how of it has intrigued me for years.

If it were a direct ascension, Jesus simply lifting off the ground and being elevated in a straight line, our Lord would still be traveling through space even if He were moving at the speed of light. But Jesus Himself told His followers He was going somewhere, a place where He would later have His followers join Him. By the natural laws as we understand them He, unless this place was on some distant planet, would not have yet arrived.

My own thoughts, and I am definitely not a physicist, are that what may have happened is some kind of dimensional shift. Perhaps there are more layers of reality then we know. Perhaps what we understand as "heaven" is not as far away from us as we think. We understand that angels walk among us unseen could they be on a plane of existence that is very real but for the most part just out of our sight? Could Jesus have briefly ascended and then, by the power of God, returned to the dimension from which He had been from eternity, His disappearing out of sight being the mark of that shift?

I don't know and I am certainly speculating, guessing even. Yet the mechanics of the ascension have intrigued me and if you're browsing through and have an idea I would like to know what you think as well.

Has anyone else...

2009-05-29T07:51:00.001-05:00

been dealing with this cold that's been floating around. Sinus, deep cough, loss of voice, seems to hang on forever? If that sounds like you what have you been doing to deal with it?

Please remember to...

2009-05-29T07:48:00.000-05:00

pray for all the Bishops of the Antiochian Archdiocese. They begin their travels today and will arrive in Damascus shortly for conferences with our Patriarch regarding the decision to change their status from diocesan to auxiliary Bishops. Metropolitan Philip will not be with them but please pray for him as well.

The time before...

2009-05-29T07:27:00.002-05:00

you wake up is often the most fertile for dreams and this morning's dream was interesting.

I was back in Lindsborg, Kansas, and the normally small town in the center of the state was larger, changed, with hills and many shops. I sensed my family was with me, including my father who has been asleep in the Lord for over 15 years. My quest was to get to First Baptist Church where I had served and get inside.

Like many dreams the task was frustrating. I knew where the building was but kept weaving in and out of streets and shops. Lindsborg is a tourist town that celebrates its Swedish heritage and so I was traveling through one gift shop to another trying to find my way. Normally I would have awoken from sleep somewhere short of the goal but this time I made it.

The church itself had changed, there were additions to the building and as I walked up the stairs I noticed the name had been changed to Grace Church and the change must have been recent because the new sign was on the top of the stairs and next to it were icons in that sort of Greek / Catholic style so prominent years ago.

I made it inside and found that everything had changed but there were two older ladies left from the church that I knew. I asked them about what had changed but they made no reply. And while I was speaking with them and watching the service I woke up.

Now I know what some of it means. I had a hard time at First Baptist Lindsborg and I've had dreams about getting to the church and getting inside. That was about trying to make peace with what happened there. But the presence of my father, has he been praying for me in these past years that I would find healing and rest from those days? I think I know what the name is all about and the icons. I already had an icon of St. John the Forerunner with me in Kansas and it calls to mind the journey God had planned for me because it was in those days that I began to search in earnest for the Church.

There's more to contemplate, of course, but I wonder why this and why now? Perhaps, after all these years, I am being released.

Filed under "I couldn't resist..."

2009-05-21T17:10:00.004-05:00

I think about the future...

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a lot these days, I've always been a person with an eye to the horizon. I often feel that if I have a goal then I have life, movement and possibility. Yet there's a difficulty in that.

I still haven't developed the ability to know the moments along the way. I suppose on one hand this helps to avoid pain. Why "live in the moment" if that moment is awful? But the side affect of that medication is a diminished ability to live in the joy of any given moment as well.

It seems they come together, to pause on the speeding train to the future means you must risk being in the moment however it presents itself. I would like the moments of joy to be forever and the moments of struggle and pain to last less then a second but to be open to one is to be open to all.

Perhaps the key is Faith, the ability to observe, or at least accept the possibility of, the hand of God in all things. Its not Faith as a kind of anesthesia but rather Faith as a framework, an interpretive grid. When the moments, good or ill, cause you to pause on the run to eternity Faith allows you to make sense of them, find their balance, or at least endure.

Amost home...

2009-05-16T10:13:00.003-05:00

It's getting close to the time to stop traveling and find a home. It's one of those things you just know, a combination of people, places, and events all working together. The question is always about finding the hand of God in it all.

Sometimes that hand is present and apparent. We read the sacred texts and listen to the commands and so we know what to do. Love God, love your neighbor, the direction is plain even if the outworking isn't always so precise. But other times the leading of God is more nuanced. How do I know when a job is ending and God is moving me on to another place? Is this person sitting across the restaurant table from me the one I should marry? When that happens the answer is that mysterious combination of the principles we've learned, our experience, our instinct, and that thing we call the "heart".

And that can be a scary thing because of its lack of precision. When the light is red you stop. When its green you go. Sometimes the door closes hard behind you and other times the door you must exit and the one you must enter are only slightly ajar. The best path seems to be to use your insight, presuming that grace has illumined it, stay true to the larger principles, and step forward knowing that God cares for you and has the ability to weave the fabric of your life from whatever threads we have.

An article worth reading,,,

2009-05-15T23:07:00.001-05:00

can be found here.

Just got back...

2009-05-14T23:01:00.002-05:00

from a rehersal of some blues and folk music with a guitarist from the acoustic jam I attend on Sunday nights. It was a good time but of course we were a bit rusty not having played as a duo before. Oh well, in music as in things spiritual practice makes perfect.

Just a note to say...

2009-05-12T21:24:00.001-05:00

that the "Fr John" posting on theantiochian.com is not me. I hope my writing is better and I always sign my full name. Just for the record.

There's more fuel to the

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fire at a www site entitled theantiochian.com, a site apparently designed to counter what it sees in the content of ocanews.org regarding the decision of the Holy Synod of Antioch changing the status of our Diocesan Bishops to auxiliaries.

Like many www sites, including at times www.ocanews.org, it has its share of venom and name calling. That's probably the worst thing about having an internet "discussion", the anonymity that allows people to take pot shots at each other. Please note, though, that no one is truly anonymous on the www. If I had the time and inclination, and I do not, I could track the address of every person who visits me here and so, by the way, can every site on the www from the ones selling books to those selling flesh. Be careful where you visit because somebody knows even if you're all alone with your computer at 3 in the morning. Anyway, the new site is revelatory in that it exposes the cultural gap that's adding fuel to this fire.

On one side of the gap are people who essentially saying "Metropolitan PHILIP is a great man who has done much for us and so he is be respected with loyalty for all that he has accomplished." On the other are people who say "We have canons and rules in the Church which are binding on us all." As I stand back and look I see these strains emerging and wonder if there is a way out. The first seems to be very "old country" for lack of a better term, people living as Christians in a hostile sea and a culture where strong leaders are expected as essential to the survival of the group. The second is very American, the sense of no person being above the law and decisions being made in compliance not with personality but with larger principles.

This is, I think, reflective of what has been happening in the Church throughout history. At times the very fabric of the Church has been shaped by individuals of great charisma, in the best sense of the word, and holiness, people who's personal attributes have affected the larger group. We still have, for example, the Paschal Homily of St. John Chrysostom as the single required sermon of Pascha (Easter) centuries after his death. Yet at times there has also been the appeal to consensus and the rule of Tradition. No one person made up the Creed and then forced it on everyone else and there have been times when the people themselves have risen up and said "No!" to their Bishops when they perceived the decision was outside of the Tradition.

These two interwoven strains have always been a part of the Church and will probably never go away. In the current situation these strains, the appeal to a person and charisma and the appeal to the larger canon and tradition, are active, present, and "in play" in all of this. Perhaps knowing this will help us find our way home.

One can hope, anyways.

Hanging with the Comets...

2009-05-09T08:09:00.002-05:00

Hangin in Branson with the original remaining members of Bill Haley and the Comets rock and roll group and the original rock and roll bassist. Cool.

It's been on the news...

2009-05-06T22:40:00.002-05:00

that former Green Bay Packer quarterback Bret Favre is meeting with the head coach of the Minnesota Vikings about possibility signing with the team. Pathetic.

Had the opportunity...

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to see "The Original Comets" yesterday at the Andy Williams Theatre in Branson.

Before his death in 1981 Bill Haley (Rock around the Clock) included many musicians among his "Comets" but the three who appear in Branson were the members of the version that recorded such hits as "Crazy Man Crazy" and, of course, "Rock around the Clock" in the early 50's. Now in their 70's and 80's the three surviving members do six shows a week and still bring the house down.

Virtually all the shows in Branson are well done (Please avoid, though, the "Hank and Patsy" show at the Owen Theatre it's so bad its surreal) but it was just great to see some rock legends playing their hearts out even in their Social Security years. The drummer, Dick Richards, is 85 and played a ten minute drum solo and was in top rockabilly form for the whole show. It gives a little bit of hope to this nearly 50 bassist.

And yes, I did get the autographs and beyond that I now have an 8 x 10 picture of myself with Marshall Lytle, the original bassist of "Bill Haley and the Comets". What a treat to have my picture taken with the very first rock and roll bassist of all time still going strong at 75! When I get the USB cord for my camera I'll post the shots.

A little wisdom...

2009-05-05T12:19:00.001-05:00

from the NY Times, of all places, on science and religion and the meanings of things.

We've made the trip to...

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Branson, Missouri, today to begin a bit of vacation. The drive was uneventful, the land is largely flat or rolling and the "hills" don't really begin until just south of Springfield, Missouri. We'll have things to do but I look forward to this time as an opportunity to rest and regroup.

Yes, I brought a bass. No, I'm not planning on auditioning for any shows.

Speaks for itself...

2009-04-29T20:10:00.001-05:00

I've gotten some critique...

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regarding my calls for civility as people are engaged in on line discusssions of the decision of the Holy Synod of Antioch changing all Diocesan Bishops to Auxiliaries. I don't mind, it's what happens when you step out in public on any issue. You're guaranteed to be misinterpreted, mostly innocently, occasionally deliberately. We often only see our piece of the puzzle.

But there is some context to my efforts to promote a calm dialogue on this and the largest part of it comes from my past. I grew up the Evangelical world and was a Baptist Pastor before becoming Orthodox and while there were some very good things there were hard times as well. There's a reason there's hundred of Baptist groups out there and it has to do with the propensity of congregationally ruled churches to fight. The Baptist reputation for conflict and schism is part stereotype but also a whole lot of fact. A handful of determined malcontents can make life a living hell for an Evangelical Pastor. I know it, been there, done that, and its part of the reason I walked away.

There are people out there in churches who just plain enjoy a good fight. It makes them feel good. It gives them power. It makes up for whatever is lacking in them and somehow gives them the "jolt" that grace apparently couldn't. They leave bitterness and resentment in their wake and use the church as the playground for their personal demons. And I've learned many hard lessons from them, lessons I don't want to repeat in my life as an Orthodox Christian.

It's inevitable that we in the Orthodox Church are going to disagree. It's been that way since day one and probably will be until that final Day. That in and of itself is not a problem. We are one Body comprised on many members and that means different perspectives. For the most part these disagreements are minor and good things can even come from the interaction they provoke. But much depends on the spirit of those who are engaging each other.

Things can get heated but they should always stay Christian. Points can be debated but if the only purpose is to put another notch on our gun then even winning is meaningless. Yes, we do have to confront each other but what good is it if our directness is lacking mercy? We should be drawn into conflict only because it is a painful necessity and not because we lust after the blood of those we oppose. I've seen the dark side, people who play conflict in the Church like some kind of game and relish inflicting wounds as a mark of their own power. It kills parishes, it destroys communities, it creates wounds that sometimes never heal. It drives good people out of ministry and cripples those who remain.

I have my opinions on what is happening and I hope enough humility to learn more if I need to. But one opinion is just front and center. I dearly love my Orthodox Faith, it took me decades to find and I treasure it even as I'm not always its most shining example. It would break my heart to see the issues we really do have to face be used by Satan to rip us apart not based on truth versus error but on emotions, passions, and unkind things directed at those with whom we disagree, things said not for any good reason but rather because putting someone else down somehow feeds a dark need.

As I've said before I've been there, done that, and experienced enough to hate the whole possibility of revisiting it again; enough to be willing to stick my nose out there and say "never again". If people read any more into it then that they're misinterpreting my intent and I regret that but what can I do?

Sunday night...

2009-04-27T20:04:00.002-05:00

was music night again, three hours at the SOS Club putting tunes together on the fly. It's an experience both frightening and enlightening. Frightening because you're up on stage and people are calling out tunes that we, about a dozen of us, play on the fly. Enlightening because the best kind of ear training is to do it over and over again, learning the art of finding notes and chords simply by what you hear.

A lot of it, as well, has to do with the temperament of the group. Some jams can be rough, full of hard core musicians with matching personalities each trying to top the other with no mercy shown to anyone who struggles. Thank goodness we're not that kind of group. Even if you plunk around a bit you're still welcome to drop in. Yes, there are some very good musicians hanging out at SOS but the attitude is laid back and that allows people to get up to speed.

I just like the feeling. Playing music is a great joy. Playing it with others is better.

I'm keeping an eye...

2009-04-27T19:59:00.002-05:00

on the various sources of information regarding the process of coming to terms with the recent decision of the Holy Synod of Antioch changing all Diocesan Bishops to Auxiliaries. Unfortunately there are only bits and pieces of information trickling out so it looks like we'll all have to sit tight and wait.

All the more reason to keep them all in prayer.

One thing I've been reminded of...

2009-04-23T12:39:00.005-05:00

in the face of all the disucssion and challenge that have rippled through the Antiochian Archdiocese following the decision of the Holy Synod to change its Diocesan Bishops to Auxiliaries is that the deepest wounds always seem to be inflicted in the holiest places.

It's one thing to be called a name or subject to harsh words by an atheist or an enemy of the Faith, its on another level completely to have the same being done by a fellow Christian. The whole framework of our relationship with each other in a hierarchical Church rests on the trust that we are all working for the greater good and the vulnerability to place ourselves in submission to each other. When that breaks down in angry words and deeds the damage is profound and the wounds go deep.

We'll have a lot of work to do when all of this blows over.

Well the bass...

2009-04-23T07:58:00.006-05:00

needed some repairs, used instruments usually find a way to bite you one way or another, so its at the shop for an endpin (that's the piece at the bottom of the bass used to raise and lower the instrument and hold the tailpiece/string assembly in place. Oh well, I knew it was coming and once again I'm reminded to enjoy things but not to make idols of them because they all, no matter how good they seem at the moment, pass away. Point taken.

There's a new...

2009-04-22T03:14:00.003-05:00

bass in the house today, a 3/4 size upright bass made in the Czech Republic and roughly ten years old. It's used, in generally good shape, and sounds decent for a reasonably inexpensive bass (remember these things can cost thousands). A little polish and its looking good and ready to play tomorrow at work for a hymn sing program and then this coming Sunday night at the acoustic jam session.

I'm always torn, of course, about buying an instrument. I've spent some real money on good instruments but at the same time the music has always been a source of both consolation and pleasure for me. As I get older I play more blues, old country, folk music, and gospel and hope to perhaps find a small local fiddle band to play with when I finally get off the road and settle down. I guess most of my rock has just rolled away with time. If I could build my own house it would have a large screen porch so I could invite some friends over on a summer night and we'd play for the neighborhood.

In an odd way as I get older I'm gravitating to acoustic instruments. I like the look of them, there's nothing quite like the look of fine polished wood, but I also like the idea that I could play them without plugging them in. I'm not against electric instruments (I own them) I'm just for the idea, the dream really, of being able to drop everything and play a barn dance without having to look for a plug in or spending an hour or so on a sound check to get the right mix.

Anyways, there'll be pictures to follow and tomorrow I'll join my wife at work to play old American Protestant hymns for our hymn sing at work the old fashioned way, upright and unplugged.

I have a thought...

2009-04-22T02:34:00.003-05:00

about one aspect of the current challenges facing the Antiochian Archdiocese related to the decision to essentially eliminate Diocesan Bishops and I've been pondering it for some time.

There has been much analysis of canons and history and possible motives for all of this but very little, practically nothing, about what might be playing behind the scenes. By this I'm thinking about St. Paul's statement that we "wrestle not against flesh and blood" but rather against "principalities and spiritual powers".

I'm not particularly crazy about what passes for "charismatic" these days. I remember being the only person in a room not jabbering or singing away in tongues and wondering what was wrong with either me or everyone else, but there is a sensibility there that, properly applied, could shed light on all of this. First there is the sense that there are two teams on the field, including adversaries who would desire to harass and destroy everything of God. The second is that Christians have the ability and authority to engage in the larger spiritual struggle.

In reading the many posts on the topic of the Holy Synod's decision I have found some wise ones full of valuable information but also a lot of expressions of hurt, anger, name calling, and division. There is certainly disagreement and concern about what has transpired but this has also brought up old hurts, fears, and unsettled things as well. These things are real and I think they're going to have to be faced but the anger with which they are expressed seems to indicate that there is more here then meets the eye.

Now I'm not saying that the people who have expressed their struggle, their hurt, and their challenges are agents of Satan or that the Holy Synod, in making this decision is diabolical in its intent. But events like this, real events and the struggles they call to mind, can be used by our adversaries to keep us off focus, to turn us against each other not just on principle but also on emotion, and to lay the groundwork for years of broken relationships all of which would do great harm to our Archdiocese and in some senses the larger Church just at the time when there needs to be a consistent and coherent Orthodox witness in our decaying society.

I remember an episode in the old Star Trek series in which the Enterprise (the ship they traveled on) is inhabited by an alien entity that feeds off from the emotions and destruction of war. This entity brings two cultures together with a history of war and then watches and gains strength as they do battle, even preventing the beings involved from dying just so the hatred and fear it needed to survive would continue. The being only goes away when both sides see that they are doomed to an endless war to feed it and at least temporarily set aside their hatred.

I know this is kind of an odd example but I think one of the things that if, in this time of challenge and struggle, we give in to unholy anger we risk not only not solving our issues but also feeding an adversary who draws nourishment, if you will, when the Church is angry, impotent, and divided. The differences the decision of the Holy Synod has exposed are real, but its the anger that has the potential to do the most damage. If this becomes about turning on each other then only Satan will win.

That would be a terrible thing because right now, perhaps more than ever, the world needs everything that Orthodoxy has and is. But if all we can think about is how to score points against other Christians things can only get worse.

Our Bishops...

2009-04-21T07:07:00.001-05:00

are meeting this Friday in regard to the recent directive from the Holy Synod of Antioch changing their status from Diocesan to Auxiliary Bishops. If you are of a mind please lift these men and this situation up in your holy prayers. There could be much at stake.

Little things...

2009-04-19T15:56:00.002-05:00

I'm learning again this Pascha.

A little meat can still make you sick. My diet is largely vegetarian even outside of Lent and so I tried to take it easy in the wee small hours but it wasn't good enough. I'm now in bed at the hotel waiting for everything to settle. Sigh.

How good it is to have a full church. They were standing in the aisles last night and the church was warm with the energy and life of that holy night. How I would love for that to be every day!

To appreciate the effort that everyone takes to make Holy Week a reality. Of course the Priest works but there were many others who took the time from their day to lend a hand. Thank you.

That even when the services seem to be a matter of getting up there and getting through there are still parts that speak to your spirit. They're the same words for sure, but there is always a new place in your life where they can fit.

A sense of gratiude for my own home and bed. I live in hotels every weekend and the hospitality is great but I'd trade it right now, and every time, for my own bed with a cat sticking his nose into my face.

A story of...

2009-04-19T08:42:00.003-05:00

faith rediscovered in the secular wilderness.

Truly He is risen!

Many blessings...

2009-04-18T17:37:00.000-05:00

to all of you on the occasion of Pascha.

Christ is Risen!

The Passion Gospels...

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are probably the hardest service for people to attend during Holy Week. It's a long service, two hours and change, there's not much movement, and plenty of standing. It's the one service some long time Orthodox avoid.

But it's important. First it continues the Orthodox way of immersing those who attend in Scripture. Some people think that because they have a Bible study and a text of two in the service that they're a "Bible Church" but we Orthodox are soaked in Scripture every single liturgy. The Passion Gospels are the epitome of this, the whole service is Scripture held together by the framework of an Orthros service.

Second, the Passion Gospels tell the story of Holy Week, the "why" behind all of what we are doing. Why is Great and Holy Friday "great"? What is the story behind the Resurrection? The Church wants us to know and so we read not just a snip or two but the whole story, from multiple viewpoints so when we ask like they do at Passover "Why is this night different than all the others?" we have, on our own passover, our Pascha, an answer.

I'm reporting on things...

2009-04-14T21:55:00.004-05:00

like the DHS report identifying abortion opponents as potential "right wing extremists" not to create a sense of paranoia but rather to help people be wise about the times. God is still God, our Faith will endure, and ten thousand years after the United States, or any other country for that matter, is a curiousity of ancient history the Church will remain.

But there is another truth in play. Truly the Church has been sleeping and events like this should, as one poster to this blog has said, "Wake us up..." to see that we have to be alive, vital, willing to reach beyond ourselves, and willing to come to terms with and act on the idea that Christianity is powerful and subversive to the dominant paradigm. The time for discussion is over, it is time to do and be.

I don't know, does that mean I'm a potential "right wing extremist" too?

The Department of Homeland Security...

2009-04-14T11:08:00.004-05:00

lists people opposed to abortion as potential "right wing extremists".

From page 2 of their recent report.

Rightwing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements, and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly antigovernment, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration.

Some time ago I spoke of how social and political conservatives eager to give the last President sweeping powers in the name of fighting "terrorism" were placing themselves in danger because Presidents, and their vision of what the word "terrorist" means can change and the power we thought we gave the President to fight one kind of person can easily be applied at home to people and groups unpopular with whatever Administration is in power.

Well, it looks like that has happened. We were willing to give a person our civil rights for the illusion of safety and now the table has turned.

I plan on...

2009-04-14T06:46:00.003-05:00

being tired come Monday but its the best kind of tired in the world, the tired of Lent completed, Pascha celebrated, a tired full of the anticipation of spring.

I suppose I'll write a little bit along the way but mostly I plan to soak it all in.

By the way, I hope you like the picture. I took it last fall outside the church in Wausau, Wisconsin where my family and I spent much of our lives. All I can say is that I have traveled far.

A scholarly view...

2009-04-13T21:47:00.000-05:00

of the coming collision between sexual orientation and religious rights.

Better...

2009-04-13T21:41:00.002-05:00

Had the chance to look in on Orthodox Christians for Accountability and their coverage of the stories resulting from the recent decsision to return the Diocesan Bishops to Auxiliary status. I was grateful to see that others have taken up the call for civility and Christian conduct in how we approach this issue.

I feel better.

Sigh...

2009-04-11T15:30:00.002-05:00

As we come into Holy Week the recent decision to return the Diocesan Bishops of our Archdiocese to auxiliary status is still front and center. Of course it has to be. This is a dramatic thing and many people remain puzzled about why its has happened. Right now there are more questions then answers.

I've tried to go on websites like Orthodox Christians for Accountability to find out information and make sense of all this. I have an obligation to do this so I can help the people I serve make sense of what is happening and how this will affect their lives. I hate to have to go to such sources but the truth is that the official word right now is largely silence. Sadly, I think that silence has made things worse.

The problem is that something has to fill the vacuum created when an action is taken without an explanation to follow. In this case that vacuum has been filled with a lot of name calling, speculation, and people taking anonymous pot shots at each other. To get to the valuable information you have to wade through a swamp of conspiracy and speculation and that makes finding and seeking out the truth difficult. And all I want to know is the truth.

I've written ad nauseum about how we need, even in our disagreements, to at least be Christian with each other but I feel like my words are falling to the ground. Not only are people still not understanding what has happened but they have also added a mountain of harsh words that, even when this is all over, will still be open wounds for many years.

I don't know why our Metropolitan did what he did. I find it difficult to comprehend but isn't there a way to say that without calling him names and implying all kinds of dark nuances? I don't know why certain Priests in our diocese don't like Bp. MARK, the person they describe in their letters isn't even close to the Bishop I know, but why does this struggle have to become a matter of open letters and taking sides? It seems like we had a small fire started and then the rumors began raining down on it like gasoline.

The truth is that whatever happens to our Bishops may be less drastic then the damage we're doing to each other by the way we're discussing their status. We're in the process of creating caricatures out of each other and that may be harder to undo then anything else. But who cares about that? This is war and the object is to win even if we've forgotten about what we're fighting for.

Sigh. I just feel sad about it all. I'm sad that we can't talk about this like adults, like Christians. I'm sad that valuable time and energy will be dissipated not in seeking out the truth and that which is good for the Church but rather in flailing about in senseless and unncessary combat. We have to talk about this. We have to work this out. But first everyone has got to take a deep breath and count to ten.

And I'm still waiting.

A gift...

2009-04-09T14:13:00.003-05:00

I just called the American Red Cross today to schedule my regular appointment to give blood. This coming April 21st I will have given three gallons, which, according to the Red Cross' calculations, means I've helped save 72 lives. I'm not trying to toot my own horn because I was shocked at the number myself and also reminded how valuable a donation can be. If I do nothing else with my life I'm glad I was able to do this. Perhaps you might consider this as a ministry as well.

If you're interested in helping others by donating blood please call 1-800-448-3543

Yes.

2009-04-07T12:04:00.003-05:00

Pan - Orthodox Sermon by His Beatitude Metropolitan Jonah @ Yahoo! Video

More wisdom...

2009-03-31T22:59:00.000-05:00

The problems go farther. Man is social, and community requires the common goods liberalism denies. If I say that I am American the claim is insignificant unless Americans are united by something that they recognize collectively as good. In liberal society, however, the only thing that can be recognized in common as a substantive good is the goal implicit in all individual desire, the ability to get what one wants. That ability is most readily recognized in the form of money, power and success, and liberalism therefore turns society into an assortment of individuals related by those things. Under such conditions men lose substantive connection to others and with it their sense of who they are; personal identity becomes a matter of bank balances and shifting private fantasies, and the individual, for whose sake liberalism was invented, evaporates.

Read more here

A little wisdom...

2009-03-24T22:40:00.001-05:00

A great article about the latest studies showing the demise of Christianity. Worth the reading.

This past Sunday...

2009-03-24T21:52:00.006-05:00

This past Sunday was a good day.

My wife, bless her, came down in the early hours of the morning to lead the choir as a replacement for the person who was replacing the actual leader who was with family. Apparently the substitute was sick but it all worked out. When you have a church where a good Sunday is 30 people a few families out or off can make a big difference. A flu bug can wreak havoc.

In that light I suppose of all the things I could change at St. Elias it would the casualness that sometimes pervades the place. There are a core of people who work extraordinarily hard but there are others who just seem to fade in and out. In a large parish this could be absorbed but in a tiny church, a small mission really, the effects are significant. In the almost four years I've been there I've been waiting for the spark, that light that turns people from spectators to participants. I see it in some, its needed in others, and I hope it comes before time and the economy take their toll.

These are good people, but I wish I had that special something to help some of them see how they need to make the church a serious and central part of their lives. Years of being a backwater in the Archdiocese with no help and no leadership and then the posting of Priests without a strategy for growth have taken their toll. The parish is nearly a century old and still hanging on. I keep trying to tell them that they could be something special, and they could, but sometimes I don't think many of them believe it and my heart breaks even as I admire their tenacity. I think about that a lot on the way home. Years ago I would have despaired but this is not in my hands, never was, and so I pray and wait and hope. God is still God.

Yet it was a good day. The drive home was safe and for some reason I never tire of the scenery. The hills and trees and wide winding river have not lost their fascination or their charm. There's always something new around the bend and I could see myself retiring in one the small river towns to finish out my life with cats, reading, writing, and music.

It was music, by the way, that made the day. I've been playing the bass for some years now and discovered a group meeting near my house for an informal Sunday night jam. It's mostly folk and blues with a smattering of three chord rock and home grown tunes presented by the writers in the group. It's all acoustic so I didn't know if they were going to let me and my electric upright bass in, but they did.

I didn't know what to expect. Were these folks professionals? Was I going to be in over my head and doomed to spend the rest of the night picking up the scraps of tunes? Well, the truth is that they were good players, serious hobbyist guitar players who needed a serious hobbyist bassist to round out the sound. I didn't get every song right but I flowed in nicely and when the night was done I was invited back. Both the music and the affirmation were good. The older I get the less afraid I am of stepping up and playing. If I'd have been a teenager I would have been scared stiff but nearly 50 I'm just going to go for it and let the chips fall where they may.

I really enjoy the bass, it's not the splashiest instrument but its a lot of fun if you let it fulfill its calling. If you're a bassist you'll probably never be the star but you almost always find a place to play because things don't sound right without that steady low thump holding the "stars" in the sky. No matter how the bass has been electrified and modified there is, as well, something about playing it standing up, full neck no frets with the clean woody sound people need to dance. I had an absolutely great time and wish I could do it every night but once a week is good for now.

I've been blessed with a lot of good things, more than I can count on my fingers and toes and probably yours as well (although that sounds kind of wierd). Among those gifts is music of all kinds, music that almost constantly flows in my head, music that comes out on paper, music I play without thinking at all, and music I play with people. My IPod has everything from the Ramones to Orthodox chant, George Jones to Mozart and the Andrews Sisters. Presuming I make it, by the grace of God, to heaven I surely would like to think about holding down the low end in whatever orchestra is constantly praising the Almighty (Can you imagine the absolutely sublime music of heaven?). If I don't get the songs down the first time I'll be okay because a few thousand years of practice and I should be awesome.

The Pope is correct...

2009-03-21T04:02:00.002-05:00

The studies are starting to trickle in and it appears that the Pope, much maligned for his statements about condoms and AIDS prevention, is actually right, they aren't the panacea the activists would like you to believe.

Clinging...

2009-03-21T03:01:00.002-05:00

I went to bed early last night and so I woke up in the wee small hours and decided to do some writing.

Yes, the world is a mess. We're reaping what we've sowed. We've wasted our inheritance on riotous living and now the accounts are due and we have no money. We've ignored everything that matters for everything that doesn't and so we're unable to cope when life turns hard. This is the way it is. Rub your eyes and wake up. The time for dreams is past and the morning is cold, gray, and bitter.

Some say you should plant a garden. Some say you should start storing food now. Some people are picking through Revelation like a fortune teller looking at tea leaves to see wisdom. There are a ton of practical things, I suppose, a person can do as the rules are changing and things are going to be different, but one thing is certainly important. Cling to Christ.

Those who have wisdom in these times will understand that the idea of Faith being a convenience we can indulge as a hobby are over. In the days to come being rooted deeply and firmly in Christ will be among the most practical things we can do, the key to survival in an age of turbulence. It matters to take practical and wise steps for food and housing and all the needs of life but what is more desperately needed is a cohesive framework through which we can understand ourselves, the times, and the future and that comes with drawing our lives and all that we are towards Christ.

Am I a perfect example of this? No. But I do know, if only from my lack, where the substance is. I know from my thirst where water can be found. I know from my struggle where peace is and in moments of despair I have discovered where hope resides. It's all in Christ and wise people looking for the call of God in these times will understand.

Some time ago...

2009-03-16T06:27:00.002-05:00

Some time ago I received an invitation to the wedding of one of the young adults I baptized when I was a Baptist pastor. Now there's a sign you're getting old!

Anyway, I just had a passing thought of her and hope her life is full of all good things. One of the things about being a Priest is that you have to realize your work is often beyond your horizon. It would be nice to have production reports where you could say "This past year I made so many thousand of this or that" but when you serve the Church its rarely that way. That's probably why so many Priests focus on numbers and programs, it allows them to think about their own work like most of this culture thinks about theirs.

To be a Priest is to be a link in the chain. You add to what has gone before and someone else adds on to you when you move on. You have no control over the before and after, only your section is as good or strong as you can make it, or better still as God makes it. But I do hope I didn't let her down, that young woman buried and risen in new life, and that during at least my watch and hopefully all the others she'll be okay. I'd like to think that if I never meet her again in this lifeat least I'll meet her in heaven.

So Michelle, if you're out there know that Pastor, now Father John, remembers you and will say a prayer for you today. I hope everything is okay and that you, now in your 20's or dare I say early 30's, are enjoying the bloom of your life. And if you think about me every once and so often I'd appreciate the same. I'm nearly 50 now, with gray hairs coming in but I haven't forgotten.

Ahhhhhh spring...

2009-03-16T06:09:00.002-05:00

I know spring isn't officially here until later this week and winter here can come back well into April but it was 60 degrees outside today (farenheit) and as I drove north from LaCrosse I saw people emerging from their dens and taking those first few steps into the sunlight.

What a joy to open the windows!

More things Antiochian...

2009-03-16T05:06:00.003-05:00

As I've pondered what''s been happening in my Archdiocese I've noticed something.

On one side there are the official news items about the recent decision returning our diocesan Bishops to auxiliary status, but that process doesn't work in our 24 hour a day everything always on world of information. So in the absence of official information we the people provide our own content in various on line forums, each of us a pundit, each of us trying to fill the void with our own thoughts.

One of the great things about the www is that the stranglehold of an elite class of professionals called journalists has been broken. Because of this people who are actual experts in their fields and not simply experts at writing or reading copy have a say in a story and often provide valuable insights. But the problem is also that anyone with an axe to grind can broadcast their thoughts to the world even if they have nothing constructive to say at all. That's the price of freedom I guess.

I think the worst part is the anonymity of the www. It's not an actual anonymity of course because if I wanted to I could track the IP addresses of everyone who visits this site and any site can do the same and perhaps more. Rather its the perception of anonymity that allows people to speak to each on other online in a way that they would generally not do, at least I hope, in person. That makes problem solving and true consensus difficult because the score is kept not by how you reach insight and consensus through wisdom but on how many cuts your words can inflict on those who disagree with you.

On some of the blogs discussing the recent decision from the Holy Synod of Antioch that spirit was very much alive. There were a lot of people calling each other names, demanding that someone repent, calling for Priests to be deposed, and saying things about fellow Christians that were just plain nasty. I know the www can be rough sometimes but I was disappointed that things could sink that fast in forums discussing an issue in the life of the Church. I understand it, there's a part of me that can fall into the trap of thirsting for verbal combat and the power it can give me when I strike a verbal blow, but I know, as well, that if we're going to live together we have to be temperate with each other or risk adding the hurt of words to the process of coming to agreement.

So I hope if anything else happens in all of this we'll come to the realization we need to keep things Christian in all of this. Yes we can disagree. Yes we can make our points. Yes we can present our information. But everything should be done with a mind to the fact that the person across from us, whether they are in person or across the world typing into their computer is a person for whom Christ came to earth. I think we'll get to where we need to be faster if we do.

Things Antiochian...

2009-03-13T07:31:00.002-05:00

In late February a decision came down from the Holy Synod of Antioch regarding the status of all Bishops in the Patriarchate. The effect of that decision has been to reduce every Bishop not currently a Metropolitan to "auxiliary" status. This largely affects the Bishops in the United States, who, according to the agreement for self rule, had been enthroned as diocesan Bishops and now are faced with returning to the status of being functionaries for our Metropolitan.

The fallout has been passionate where discussion is occurring and there are many questions being asked as people are trying to make sense of the implications of this with little official information to use as sources. Some deep disagreements have been exposed. Personal issues that have simmered for some time are bubbling to the surface. And there are lot of anonymous www posts floating through the blogosphere. Feelings are hurt and people are confused. It may be a rough few months before the Archdiocesan Convention this summer and the convention itself, who knows?

The hardest part for me is that I still don't have something I can tell my people that has any substance. I know what happened but I don't know why. There seems to be a fog of byzantine intrigue in all of this and some cryptic statements neither of which help when I want to guide my own heart and those I care for through these times. It matters when you change the structure of a whole archdiocese and I wish I knew the facts behind the actions from an official source and didn't have to get information from blogs and personal contacts.

That being said it looks like I'll just have to sort it out like everyone else. One thing is certain, I'm not letting this stop me from being Orthodox. I'm here for the long haul and if things get nasty in the Antiochian Archdiocese I'm not giving up my Faith. I'm going to pray always, take a stand when I need to, take my hits if I have to, and ride it out. If you're Antiochian and you're reading this I encourage you to do the same. Scars may come be we will make it through.

Apparently these are real...

2009-03-05T11:23:00.002-06:00

I couldn't resist...

2009-03-04T03:58:00.000-06:00

A scientist has apparently found the answer to belly button lint...

Hey, folks, that's why I put the word "miscellania" in the header!

The President and conscience...

2009-03-02T17:11:00.003-06:00

President Obama has been working behind the scenes to revoke the legal protection for health care professionals who refuse to perform or assist in abortion as a matter of religious conscience.

A better way...

2009-02-27T10:44:00.002-06:00

The plan is in, massive government spending, unimaginable deficits, and a debt that our grandchildren will have to pay if the whole house of cards doesn't collapse before then. After all, you can't get blood from a turnip. All of it is about avoiding the pain our lifestyle is causing us, the consequences of our "who cares about tomorrow, swipe the card today" mentality.

I doubt it will work because in truth its more of the same.

The cure is harder, we don't need a better government or certainly not a bigger one, we need to be better people and until that happens none of the rest will follow. The primary cause of this current financial crisis is moral, people with power and wealth who didn't have the inner fabric to reign in their own desires and a lot of us further down the financial food chain who played the game in the same, but a more limited way. Every day when we go to the bathroom we see the face of this crisis in the mirror.

Of course we probably won't see our politicians calling for a time of repentance at least not in a way that would come close to a call to spiritual and moral renewal. That's for a day long ago, the times are different, change the government and the world will change except that it won't and never has and we're the crazies who think we can do the same thing over and over again but this time get it right. Reckoning is on its way and we are very much less then ready. Our world is still the world of dreams.

I presume, though, that some will sit up in their beds with a start and realize the nightmare which woke them up. And as they rub their eyes and come to their senses they'll think, "That was crazy..." and when they do they'll start on the path to a better way.

Chilling speech...

2009-02-22T22:04:00.003-06:00

Follow this link to the story of an African American pastor fined and jailed for peacefully protesting at an abortion facility in California. There are a growing number of incidences in this country where people of religious conscience are being censored, punished, or marginalized simply because of their religious views. We need to be aware of these things without panic or getting wrapped up in conspiracy theories, but also with the understanding that the times are changing and the priviledged position that Christianity had enjoyed in this country is rapidly disappearing. God may be trying to get our attention and help us, as Christians, to wake up and stop taking our freedoms and our Faith for granted. Jesus told us that in the world we would have many troubles but that we were not to fear because he had overcome the world. Now is chance to understand this and act.

The chickadee says...

2009-02-22T21:34:00.003-06:00

Saturday morning, 4 inches of snow needed shoveling. With each push and throw the walk cleared and the banks grew. The air was cold and the sky clearing and from somewhere the sound of a chickadee rose. "Sweet spring, sweet spring" of course it was too early but one can't help but admire the hope in the song. I looked to the sky to see where it was coming from but the trees wouldn't reveal their secret. The birds know things we don't, sense things we on the ground cannot. Spring is less then a month away no matter what the snow says.

Some thoughts from Cal Thomas...

2009-02-18T05:56:00.001-06:00

On the developing government health oversight and the duty to die...

The numbers game...

2009-02-16T09:07:00.003-06:00

Since my arrival at St. Elias I have been telling the people that in the United States in any given area the population can range from roughly 40 - 60 percent unchurched. That would mean that LaCrosse County with a population just over 107,000 could have as many as 40,000 people who for all reasonable purposes have no church home. That's an enormous mission field for such a small area and it certainly means we could find several hundred of those folks receptive to Orthodoxy.

I think some have doubted those numbers and so I've been sending emails with links to the Barna Group and Gallup that provide snapshots of the actual level of church involvement in this country. We have this veneer of Christianity in this country, and even the veneer is getting really thin, but when we press just a little below the surface we find out that regular church goers are a real minority in this country. People, for the sake of casual politeness or to avoid getting into discussing religion, may identify themselves in broad terms as Christian but the actual practice of the faith is quite limited.

Of course we should have picked this up from our culture. If the majority of Americans were actually committed to their faith and their churches would our culture even come close to looking like it does? I don't think so. We are, in fact, a nation of baptized pagans, a society of people who by and large engage in the occasional religious ceremony but hardle ever actually practice the faith they claim. Or better yet we're a country of secular materialists who've added a splash of religion like salt on a hamburger.

Regardless, the mission field in America is open and every church needs to see itself not simply as an organization but as a mission station and be actively engaging a pagan culture with the Faith. In fact, in many Orthodox churches, we must engage our own people with the Faith because, in truth, they really don't know what they believe or why. The first thing that must disappear, though, is the myth that this is a Christian country. It is not, and we believe that falsehood at our own peril. It's hard to be jarred from a sleep to learn your house is on fire, but it will save your life. In the same way the Church needs to wake up from its slumber before it is too late.

This Sunday's sermon in advance...

2009-02-14T09:46:00.001-06:00

Sunday of the Prodigal Son
February 15, 2009

When I disobey in ignorance thy fatherly glory, I wasted in iniquities the riches that thou gavest me. Wherefore, I cry to thee with the voice of the prodigal son, saying, I have sinned before thee, O compassionate Father, receive me repentant, and make me as one of thy hired servants.

I watch the headlines flash by on the television and hear the tales of a world gone wrong. And as I do I know why this is so, not because I possess any superior insight but rather because Jesus wisdom echoes over the ages.

We are prodigals, all of us, myself the first, and our pride has caused us to buy into a lie about who we are, what life is about, and the ultimate purpose of things. In our arrogance we, each in our own ways, discarded everything that went before us and struck out into the world full of ourselves and confident of our answers. Our precious inheritance has been squandered on rich living and harlots of our own making.

But now the money is gone and we realize, like the young man in this Gospel, that good time friends stay only for the party and vaporize into the hot winds of famine. When artificial props and false foundations are swept away by the rushing flood we fall and find our ourselves in reality, working hard for next to nothing, our minds coming to sense and longing for what we had selfishly scorned, a home, a place, a relationship, a father.

No, it may not be a pig sty where our heart becomes bereft of comfort and longing for what we have forsaken. It can be our office, our home, that last seat at the bar where we’re buried in our drink, or some moment alone in the small hours of the night when the culture’s anesthesia wears off and we’re finally alone with our pain. But the moment comes, it is inevitable, and face it we must.

Some of us will arrive at that hour and respond with even more of what brought us to that place. We’ll choose to drink more deeply from the squalid well that has caused our stomachs to churn and our life to be poisoned. We’ll hope that even more excess, more money, more of whatever we desire will finally break us through to where we had hoped it would all take us. One more drink, one more party, one more loan on our future, one more fix of whatever we crave, damn tomorrow and full speed ahead. It’s a recipe for death, body, soul, culture and world.

Some, though, will hear those small voices inside and be flooded with light and wisdom gained from pain. They will say to themselves “Why am I living this way?” and as they do they take the first step of the long journey home. Like the young man in Jesus wise story they have returned to sanity and in humility hope there is still a chance for them in the place they had left behind. They fear the worst but hope for the best and are willing to take the chance that even if they cannot be where they once were they still can be closer to home.

What they will discover is that even when they are still far away, when home is a speck in the distance, a welcome awaits. While we often stop caring about God; while we often assert our own wisdom against His and forget that He even exists, He has never forgotten us and what is more He has never stopped loving us and waiting for our return. While we are still on the horizon, covered in rags and smelling of our unwashed folly, God draws towards us and embraces even our filth as He escorts us safely home.

This is why we do battle against our passions and our sins. This is why we live this Christian life. This is why we fast and pray and worship and give alms and seek to be pure of character and filled with a lively hope. This love that God has for us so eloquently portrayed in Jesus holy words calls us out of ourselves, out of our selfishness, out of a broken world and back to our heart’s true home whether we have wandered far or only just around the corner. However we are, whatever we have become, for ourselves and our world there is a way back if we have the wisdom to see it and the humility to take the first step and as we do we begin to possess eternal life.

Musings after Vegas...

2009-02-12T08:56:00.004-06:00

I remember looking out beyond the glittering lights of Las Vegas to the desert mountains beyond and thinking "This would be a good place for a monastery." And I can understand how people in days gone by, full up of all the lights and attractions of their time but empty of soul, would choose the desert to find God. The harsh, clean, absence of the extraneous world that clogged their spirit must have had an attraction to souls weary of everything and seeking emptiness as an antidote.

Word from the Desert...

2009-02-10T07:30:00.002-06:00

I can't tell you how much I enjoy the blog "Word from the Desert". I'm not sure who the author is but I've always been blessed by reading short quotes from the fathers and mothers of the desert and the Church and this web site is a banquet of them ready for use.In my quest to stop filling my mind with all the cares of the world and replace that with holy things such sites are a welcome relief from the endless screaming voices and indicative of what the www can be for the discerning Christian.

I couldn't resist...

2009-02-07T10:44:00.000-06:00

Here's a commercial for the Smart Car that apparently was banned in some markets...

Smart car...

2009-02-07T10:26:00.001-06:00

I configured my Smart Car yesterday pending possible delivery in September. I thought this would be the perfect package for the snow and hills around LaCrosse.

Lord, have mercy...

2009-02-06T06:00:00.000-06:00

Baby born alive in an attempted abortion is killed. What have we become?

This is wise...

2009-02-04T19:10:00.002-06:00

On the last days of his life we met the charismatic Elder Simeon (on Mt. Athos), who had been under obedience to Father Savvas prior to that well-known elder’s repose. Father Simeon told us many things about this virtuous and discerning man and also advised us: “Be afraid of sinning, not of the Devil, for he has no power.”

This is creepy...

2009-02-04T12:49:00.002-06:00

Google is offering software that can track you via your cellphone.

Why would a sane and free person want to live under 24 hour surveillance? I understand why Google would want to do this, information is power and money, but it astounds me that people would voluntarily sign up to be tracked like animals. What kind of fools are we becoming?

So far so good...

2009-02-03T19:33:00.002-06:00

8 below tonight but heading for 40 in a couple of days. I'm feeling better and learning again about how to take better care of myself. Walking 3-5 miles 3 times per week, eating a lot less in smaller meals, and trying to let the important things matter and everything else fade away; it's all part of the package.

I've got a ways to go but it's a start.

The last thing we did in Vegas...

2009-01-31T16:16:00.001-06:00

Was to see the Bellagio Hotel fountains and this song...

The Star of "Alien Nation" speaks...

2009-01-31T10:35:00.000-06:00

on abortion and his change of conscience.

Pass this video on...

2009-01-30T09:57:00.001-06:00

A little wisdom from Vegas...

2009-01-30T09:48:00.003-06:00

I was watching a TV show about the history of Las Vegas and Penn of Penn and Teller (you can see their faces everywhere around here) explained the theory behind why there will always be a Las Vegas. Vegas, he said, was entirely based on drawing people from around the world who are bad at math and since that's a renewable resource there will always be a Las Vegas.

Oh, and did I tell you that I saw a man in the wee hours of this morning carrying his girlfriend piggy back into a hotel while his pants were falling down? That's why there will always be a Vegas too.

Anyway, loved the sunshine, loved the temps, loved being able to walk outside without looking like the Michelin man. I called my mom this morning and found out its 5 below farenheit in Minnesota.

Sigh.

Kids cost too much...

2009-01-26T06:03:00.002-06:00

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives, says that millions for contraception in the economic stimulus package will help save money by keeping the surplus population down.

For another alternative I suggest going here.

Google wants...

2009-01-26T06:00:00.000-06:00

Everything. Your hard drive. Your information. Your writing. Your soul?

Why this is a moral crisis...

2009-01-23T12:56:00.001-06:00

More support for the hypothesis that a moral crisis lies at the heart of our financial woes.

Thoughts on Roe v Wade...

2009-01-23T05:14:00.000-06:00

An article worth reading.

When Thou O Lord was baptized...

2009-01-22T11:28:00.003-06:00

An article with video (rough and grainy because it was taken by a cellphone) related to a 2006 phenomena/miracle when the waters of the Jordan river reversed their flow following being blessed on Theophany. Very interesting, and apparently this is not a one time event.

Check it out and tell me what you think.

An article of note...

2009-01-22T10:25:00.001-06:00

On Paradise and Hell in the Orthodox Tradition.

What do you think?

Interesting thoughts...

2009-01-22T07:34:00.004-06:00

On the fear of doing nothing in the current economy...

A lot of our economic troubles could be solved if we could just keep our emotions in check. Seriously. It seems that fear, greed and the thirst for power have swept the country like an airborne virus. The fear of doing nothing rules the day -- not logic, not study, not knowledge or analysis. Certainly not patience. Our leaders, whoever they are, are acting like third grade schoolchildren who have been told by their teacher that a snake is loose in the room. And by the way, wouldn't you like to know who that teacher is? Who is in charge?

Honestly I believe our financial crisis is, at its core, a spiritual and moral crisis, the markets reacting to the weirdness of a culture obsessed with wealth, consumerism, and bereft of the historical moral precepts that normally would have kept some of this in check. People have no idea what is right or wrong, they have only their possessions and their ledgers to help them make sense of things and these are very fallible guides. Jesus is right, we have gained the whole world and lost our own soul, and remarkably because of it we seem to be losing the whole world as well.

I think we have two choices. The first is the one the government seems to be taking, pumping money into the very structures that have failed in the hope that if they have more they will do better. The hope seems to be that if you give a thief enough money they'll stop stealing. The other is to come to terms with the moral, social, and spiritual insanity of our culture, and take steps to abandon it in favor of those principles of human life that have stood the test of time. We can print as much cash as we want but what is truly in short supply is common sense, humble hearts, and people who realize they're not gods.

Viva Las Vegas...

2009-01-21T07:41:00.002-06:00

Next week my wife and I will be off to Las Vegas. Ahhhhhh vacation!

I'm not much of a casino guy, in fact the bells ringing and the feeling of being trapped like a rat in a maze when you just want to walk through is annoying. Plus, quite frankly, I'm too cheap to give just someone my money for the privilege of pushing a button or looking at cards in a place where they give you free booze to loosen you up and the odds are already stacked against you.

But I do love the desert air and moderate temperatures in Las Vegas this time of year and tons of Nevada sun. I find no charm at all in cloudy weather except when it needs to rain and then move on. I lived in Kansas for a year as a Baptist pastor and the best thing about Kansas was the big open sky. Las Vegas can be like that and since they figure I'm going to blow my money they give out cheap flights and hotel.

They're in for a surprise, though, when they see us two thrifty folks walk right on by the machines and tables and straight on over to the Star Trek museum at the Hilton. Maybe we'll drop into the M and M store for some treats and the Coca Cola store for a pair of Tab socks for my wife and then we'll rent one of those little electric cars for a trip up and down the Strip and some light watching. Mostly, though, I just want to stand outside in the sun.

Someone will be staying at our house to care for the cats and since my computer will be along I'll probably blog away wearing a wild Hawaiian shirt, funny tan shorts, and whatever other garb shouts out "tourist" in the most conspicuous way.

Viva Las Vegas!

Some thoughts...

2009-01-20T13:41:00.002-06:00

I haven't been feeling like myself for some time now, a variety of symptoms, some days better then others. The travel, long weeks, and my own lack of self care are taking their toll. That all being said I was moved by this verse from today's readings...

Brethren, it is the God who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair, persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our bodies. For while we live we are always being given up to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you. Since we have the same spirit of faith as he had who wrote, "I believed, and so I spoke," we too believed, and so we speak, knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into His presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God...

2 Corinthians 4:6-15

I know I haven't endured even a fraction of what St. Paul has endured but the words bring comfort anyways.

I am God's wheat.

This just in...

2009-01-20T04:20:00.003-06:00

Sin is bad for you. Really.

Some time ago I told the good people of St. Elias "Go ahead and sin, do whatever you want, and if you're actually alive in six months you'll be very miserable." I didn't want them, or me, to actually put that into practice, of course, but I wanted to make a point. The stuff the Tradition of our Faith calls "sin" can really wipe you out, physicially, spiritually, emotionally, financially, your choice.

Don't believe me? Underlying this whole financial mess we're in right now is not the market but sin. People got greedy. People wanted what their neighbors had. People ignored the rules because they wanted theirs. Look where it got us. Things like what we're experiencing now are the blowback of moral failure, yours, mine, and ours. Nobody wants to talk about that dimension, of course, because ideas like "sin" are considered medieval and primitive but in all the debates about stimulus packages and economic changes morality is the elephant in the kitchen. None of it will matter if people don't relearn a simple principle, "Thou shalt not steal."

The great irony of our time may be that the recovery of our economy, our culture, our health, and our general welfare may depend not on some new technological acheivement and certainly not by the fiat of this government or that but by the recovery of the conciousness of sin, in ourselves, our culture, and the world. If we can recover that, and it normally takes a tremendous amount of pain to get the average person (myself included) to face this, then we're on the road to health. If not, then all, for now, may be lost.

This Sunday's sermon in advance...

2009-01-18T07:45:00.002-06:00

What is the meaning of the sanctity of life?

Immediately, of course, the issue of abortion emerges. It’s often the flash point in these times when the topic is the sanctity of life. As Orthodox we share the historic Christian understanding that abortion is a grave moral wrong. Our teaching has not changed even when the proponents of abortion try to hide its reality with the use of words like “choice.”

But the sanctity of life is more than simply the Church’s position on abortion. Because it is so prevalent today, people often focus on abortion as they speak of the sanctity of human life from the Christian perspective and in doing so forget that this issue is woven into a larger understanding, a greater whole.

At the core of the Christian understanding of the sanctity of life is the reality that human beings were created by God and given something that even the animals, as intelligent as they can be, do not possess, the breath of God the capacity to be a living soul. Even the darkness of human sin and mortality has not completely extinguished that light, that life from God.

Because human life comes from God is has sanctity and this sanctity is absolute because of its origins. We see ourselves as we are and we often, by default, accept this current way of existing as being natural and normal. But we were not designed by God to harm, demean, sacrifice, or kill each other and the way we often live is actually unnatural, out of sync, and dysfunctional, contrary to the purpose and design of our creation.

As Christians we’re actually seeking to return to our “normal” state, the primal innocence and union with God that marked our beginnings and from which we chose to stray. We live in a world where we see the consequences of our choice to reject God, war, hatred, dysfunction, brokenness, pain, hurt, and death, and we are trying to find our way home. Our Lord Jesus Christ shows us this way, in fact He is the way because to bring humanity back to God, God chose to become human allowing us to come back, as it were, to the Eden we had forsaken. And because of this, because we have been reunited with God, we are called to live in a different way. We are called to embody not the values of the cultures around us still languishing in darkness but rather to live as children of God, as people who have been sanctified, illuminated, and regenerated. We have Christ for our example, the Tradition of our Faith for the assistance we need, and the presence of the Holy Spirit within us to give us the grace and power to accomplish this.

The implications of this understanding are far reaching and touch every facet of our existence. This is something we must understand. Our Faith is not simply something we add on to whatever else we have going on in our lives but, when properly understood, should become our lives. No hyphen is allowed before the word “Christian” in our lives, any modifier to the word means we still have not understood what it means. If we wish to be saved Christian must become the only term by which we describe ourselves, the only motivation for our life.

This, of course, has far ranging implications but among them is how we view human life, ours, the life of those we share affinity with, and even the life of those we do not know or who are our enemies. Being illuminated we understand that often our culture’s understanding of the value of human life is broken, misplaced, commercialized, exploited, harmed, and mutilated. For the sake of a better way we try as best we can to live beyond a broken world’s understandings of humanity and embrace, even in this world’s darkness, the original God given understanding of who we are.

In this we understand that life, even from its conception, is sacred and it’s always and everywhere more than whatever is convenient at the moment, more than the value the powerful may place on it, more than even the damage the person themselves may have done to it. Because of this we refuse to dispose of each other, refuse to define each other by any other category than what can found in Christ and refuse to ultimately identify ourselves in any other way as well. In Christ enemies are reconciled, brokenness is made whole, sins are washed away, humanity is reunited to God, and peace is restored. Because of this we are called to live like Christ if we wish to have true life and define ourselves and each other as He would.

As these principles are understood the sense of our ethic becomes apparent. We pray for our enemies because Christ calls us to remember they are still human even if they seek our hurt, subject to the same mortality and passions as we are. We cherish the life of the unborn because our Faith teaches us that all life is a gift from God, even that of the most vulnerable among us. We oppose the commercialization, the exploitation, the slavery of human beings because this disfigures the image of God still within us, both for those who are its victims and its perpetrators. We, as children of the Prince of Peace, see war, even if the cause is just, as deeply regrettable and whenever we can we avoid it and when we cannot we seek its quick end and commit ourselves to the care of everyone regardless of their side because they are human. We understand that those who are rich must share with those who are not so that no person created in the image of God is left in degradation.

The list could go on but the point is made. At various times various issues will present themselves to us as we grapple with what it means to be human and how we should live with each other in the world. Yet underlying them all are inviolable principles; life as a gift, a sacred trust, from God, the call to live as people who see ourselves and each other not in the vision of the world but with the eyes of Christ who by taking on humanity restored its sanctity, and the challenge of the practical, and sometimes radical, ways these truths work themselves out in our lives. Understanding this is the beginning of knowing what we mean when we speak, as Orthodox, of the sanctity of human life and applying it helps us grasp what it means to be called Christian.

Wisdom from Michael Novak...

2009-01-16T21:27:00.000-06:00

On the complementary nature of man and woman.

Euphemisms of eugenics...

2009-01-16T07:45:00.001-06:00

An interesting take on the recent work by British scientists to eliminate a potential cancer gene before birth.

Tired of the cold..?

2009-01-15T08:46:00.001-06:00

The temperature outside...

2009-01-15T00:15:00.002-06:00

The temperature outside is dropping like a rock, down to 25 below zero Farenheit in some areas, and I took a day off from Valerian to let my body chemistry readjust so I'm awake and writing. All I can hear is the furnace kicking on again and again as it struggles against the cold and I wonder how much that's going to cost when we get the bill in February. Oh well, I'll be back in bed in a minute or two and this won't last forever. They say we could be in the 30's by next week and it'll be nice to go outside without looking like the Michelin man. One more hard day and the mercury starts rising.

BTW I'm not sure what kind of original equipment battery comes with a Saturn Vue, probably an AC/Delco, but mine is amazing. Yesterday morning, below zero, cranks right over. Takes a few miles to get warmed up but starts like a charm.

Because I wanted to...

2009-01-14T13:38:00.001-06:00

Thoughts on the Middle East...

2009-01-12T12:47:00.004-06:00

It's hard to watch, sometimes, the endless fighting in the Middle East, two cultures with a hand on each other's throat and an unwillingness to let go. From a distance and the safety of these shores it seems unreal, senseless like two street gangs doing battle over the same dank street corner save for the advanced weapons.

One wonders, how many will have to die? When will two people looking at each other across the divide finally think to themselves "This is insanity, honor, country, people, everything distorted and the only thing real is the blood flowing out of our children." People long dead started it all and fresh bodies join them on an assembly line powered by grudge. Larger forces play the greater game but like everything else the pawns get brushed off the table. Young men pay for old men who can't forgive or forget and young women join their mothers in the black clothes of widows.

On the face of it there is no answer. Contemporary Arabic culture is steeped in hatred of Jews, those people whose very life affronts their sense of honor and whose survival calls to mind their ongoing defeat. Jews, with wounds still raw and bleeding from the Holocaust, vow "Never again" and fight to claim a land for themselves and the safety of borders as if the people who've lived there for centuries don't matter. Will the last Palestinian and the last Israeli left alive at least agree turn out the lights when they leave this world?

And here we are as Orthodox Christians, somewhere in between the apocalyptic fueled love for Israel from the right and calculated and oft manipulated Palestinian rage of the left. Somewhere in the middle trying to make sense of it all even as in our hearts we probably have already figured out that sense, at least in the world's understanding of it, may never come. The diplomats burn fuel trying to make it go away but the fire never stops.

Only one thing remains and that is prayer. Prayer not for one side or the other but prayer for peace, for hope, for wisdom, for that moment when somehow, somewhere, the Holy Spirit touches two people burning with anger and allows them to see the person in the body they are about to exterminate, the child of God under the uniform and say "Enough." Only our Lord will be able to heal the land of his wayward family, this struggle between the sons of Abraham and until that time comes we cannot forget to pray for that sad, hurting, chunk of the globe, engaging the spiritual forces and principalities which have woven themselves in and through every human experience in anticipation of the day when faith becomes sight.

In your mercy, Lord, let this day be soon.

My nominee for best rock love song...

2009-01-12T11:13:00.001-06:00

Help a mission church...

2009-01-12T08:19:00.002-06:00

If you are so inclined there is a great opportunity to help an Orthodox mission parish in Iowa City, Iowa, raise money to buy a much needed building. St. Raphael Mission has been meeting in a rented facility so small that people have to do synchronized metanias to avoid smacking each other in the back (that's not necessarily a joke) and they have the possibility of purchasing a Christian Science church building that could meet their needs for years to come.

Click on this link to find out how you can help.

Staying warm...

2009-01-11T21:27:00.002-06:00

It looks like snow for tomorrow and below zero temperatures through Friday. That's the bad news. The good news is that weather wise this coming week is historically the coldest of the year and as the days keep getting longer the warmth will have to break through. I'm not cancelling my trip to Las Vegas though. There's a trip to the Star Trek museum with our name on it!

Electric Cars...

2009-01-11T20:06:00.005-06:00

News from Th!nk of Norway on the development of an electric commuter car for the US in the near future. When I was a kid I used to draw "cars of the future" in my doodles and now some of those doodles are coming to life. I'm ready for an electric car for making pastoral calls and around town trips if they can make it cheap enough to not bust my budget.

BTW my reservation for a new Smart Car is on track for September - November of this year.

Interesting blog...

2009-01-11T19:32:00.001-06:00

Interested in some substantial reading on a blog? Try "Postmodern Conservative".

Clergy health...

2009-01-11T18:05:00.001-06:00

A link from "Get Religion" related to an ongoing study of clergy health. As a Priest realizing, again, that I'm not indestructible all I can say is "Amen".

A proud moment...

2009-01-11T17:58:00.002-06:00

Today our little parish decided to donate money to help a mission in Iowa and work on forming a Mission Committee. Well done St. Elias!

My nominee for greatest country song...

2009-01-09T10:14:00.002-06:00

Valerian update...

2009-01-08T08:48:00.002-06:00

Three days of Valerian, 500 mg just before bed time, and so far so good. Refreshing sleep free from the "medicine hangover" that comes with pharmaceuticals and a generally calm day. It's amazing what just a good run of regular sleep can do for your wellbeing.

Just a note, though, about the product itself. When properly prepared it has a kind of smell you won't forget, a smell that fortunately is not passed on to the consumer. Oh, and did I tell you that cats go after it like catnip?

Regardless, as I've pondered this my mind wandered to the creation story and how God gave humanity all the plants of the earth for sustenance (Genesis 1:29-30). Everything God created was for our good and even in a world disfigured by sin where people are restless and the night is devoid of sleep that goodness, in the root of a common flowering plant, still shines through. How unaware I have been of the countless ways I'm sustained by what God has given, those silent taken for granted things that keep body and soul together, and how ungrateful I've been as well.

But that can change.

Wow...

2009-01-08T08:41:00.004-06:00

A Duluth, Minnesota, woman survives hypothermia that dropped her body temperature to 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Truly, as the Psalmist said, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made". (Psalm 139:14)

Many thanks...

2009-01-08T07:48:00.002-06:00

Many thanks to visitor 12,000 arriving on this blog. Whether you came on purpose or just drifting along on the waves of the web I appreciate each and every guest.

Resolutions...

2009-01-06T13:08:00.005-06:00

I invariably don't keep New Year's resolutions. In fact a few weeks ago I joked with some of the residents at work that in 2009 I planned on gaining 30 pounds, stopping exercise, and taking up smoking knowing that I would inevitably fail at it just because they were resolutions and may end up healthy by default.

I have a stirring, though, for what I should be doing now that the year is fresh. I would like to draw closer to God and become more human. They're tied together, of course, and they sound grandiose but its what I know I need to do whether its in resolution form or not. Some of what I must do is already apparent and I trust that God will clue me in for whatever else needs to be done.

And then, one foot in front of the other...

Valerian...

2009-01-06T07:29:00.001-06:00

As some of you have noticed by the time/date stamps on some of my postings I can have occasional bouts of insomnia. Have any of you tried Valerian and if you have how have you experienced it?